How to Help Ourselves

Become Fearless!

Let Yourself Be Afraid

A definition of fearless is "the abililty to remain soft and open, evn under very difficult circumstances" Most often fears causes us to shut down. We just want to get away, but the quickest way out is to stay. If you can slow down, you will watch fear rise, abides and disolve on its own.

Ask for Help

When you are vunerable, people actually want to protect you. When you know this, you can relax. The likelihood is that someone you trust will be there for you and is waiting for you to ask. The key is to counter the energy of fear, which spirals in and out leaving you feel heavy and isolated. The energy of connection will lighten the process of fear

Relax

The opposite of fear is relaxation. The ability to remain open and mindful under any circumstance is a sign of great courage. When we are unable to maintain mindful thinking during this time, we lose track of what is going on around us. We confuse what we think is happening with what really is happening in our life. When you feel feel, simply take 3 deep breaths and release it from your body

Listen to Silence

In a fearful condition, the mind tends to tighten its grip on fear until you feel you are about to explode. Here is what to do in this situation,  Soft focusing on the fear. Become silent and open.

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Be Good to Yourself

Trust yourself.
You know what you want and need.

Put yourself first.
You can't be anything for anybody else
unless you take care of yourself.

Let your feelings be known.
They are important.

Express your opinions.
It's good to hear yourself talk.

Value your thinking.
You do it well.
If you don't value it, no one else will.

Take the time and space you need.
Even if other people are wanting something from you.

When you need something, don't talk yourself out of it.
Even if you can't have it, it's ok to need.

When you are scared,
let someone know.
Isolating yourself when
you're scared makes it worse.

When you feel like running away,
let yourself feel the scare.
Think about what you fear will happen and decide what you need to do.

When you're angry,
let yourself feel the anger.
Decide what you want to do; just feel it, express it, or take some action.

When you're sad,
think about what would be comforting.
When you're hurt,
tell the person who hurt you.
Keeping it inside
makes it grow.

When you have work to do
and you don't want to do it,
decide what really needs to be done
and what can wait.

When you want something
from someone else, ask.
You'll be okay if they say no.
Asking is being true to yourself.

When you need help, ask.
Trust people to say no
if they don't want to give.

When people turn you down,
it usually has to do with them,
and not with you.
Ask someone else for what you need.

When you feel alone, know there are people who want to be with you.
Fantasize what it would be like to be with each of them. Decide if you want to make that happen.

When you feel anxious,
let yourself know that in your head.
You've moved into the future
to something scary
your body has gotten up the energy for it.
Come back to the present.

When you want to say something loving to someone, go ahead.
Expressing your feeling
is not a commitment.

When someone yells at you,
physically support yourself
by relaxing into your chair or putting your feet firmly on the floor.
Remember to breathe.
Think about the message they are trying to get across to you.

When you're harassing yourself, stop.
You do it when you need something.
Figure out what you need and get it.

When everything seems wrong, you are overwhelmed and need some comforting.
Ask for it.
Afterwards, you can think about what you need to do.

When you want to talk to someone new and are scared, breathe.
Don't start rehearsing, just plunge in.
If it doesn't go well, you can stop.

If you're doing something you don't like to do, (such as smoking or overeating), Stop.
Think about what you really want.
If you're stuck and can't think clearly, talk out loud to someone.

When you can't think straight,
Stop thinking.
Feel.

When you're in need of love, reach out.
There are people who love you.

When you're confused, it's usually because you
think you should do one thing and you want to do another.
Dialogue with yourself or present both sides to a friend.

When you feel harried, slow down.
Deliberately slow your breathing,
your speech,
and your movements.

When you have tears, cry.
When you feel like crying
and it's not a safe place to cry,
acknowledge your pain
and promise yourself a good cry later.
Keep your promise.

When everything seems gray,
look for color.

If one of these rules seems wrong for you,
talk about it with someone.
Then, rewrite it so it fits you.

Author Unknown